Bringing a mate to Saturday's beginner session — what should I tell her?

Tell her: warm-up on the sand, half an hour of technique in the shallows, then wave-catching with a coach in the water and another on the beach. And nobody watches anyone — everyone's far too busy falling off themselves.

Boards, suits and boots are all in the shed, so she just needs swimwear, a towel and a sense of humour. First session's free for a member's guest.

And tell her the falling off IS the sport for the first month. We've all served our apprenticeship.